8 Ways
by DaniiButNotBeck
Summary: Eight ways in which Olivia tells Alex she loves her. Based on "8 Ways to Say 'I Love You'" by R. McKinley.


Title: 8 Ways

Pairing: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Rating: K+ (Way 2 might be T. I don't know; I'm bad at rating.)

Author's Note: These characters aren't mine. If they were, things would be different, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. Do I have that right? Anyways, the only things I own are almost a dozen textbooks, an empty box of old candy canes, and a laptop I got for my birthday.

Author's Note 2: This is based on "8 Ways to Say 'I Love You'" by R. McKinley

Author's Note 3: I don't know anything about people getting hit by cars as demonstrated by Way Seven.

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**Way One**

_Spit it into her voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night's clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for her to mention it._

Olivia sets the empty shot glass on the bar and digs her cellphone out of her pocket. Her fingers slide over the keys, easily punching in the familiar number, hoping she won't answer. The call goes straight to answering machine, giving Olivia a little relief.

"I love you, Alex Cabot," she says into the answering machine, slurring slightly. "God, I love you." She hangs up her cellphone and puts it back in her pocket. For the remainder of the night, she checks her messages compulsively, equally dismayed and ecstatic there aren't any.

She spends the next two weeks avoiding Alex at all costs. She sends to beg the blonde for the warrants they need (resulting in them getting less warrants), she doesn't answer Alex's phone calls, she never spends any time alone with her, she even heads home instead of going out with the squad.

Eighteen days after she left the message on Alex's machine, Olivia wakes up to find a message on her answering machine. She clicks listen and waits with bated breath.

"Liv," Alex's voice says through the speaker, "avoiding me is highly inappropriate and, not to mention, extremely rude. If you had acted like an adult, you would know by now that I do, in fact, love you too. Now, I expect you to be in my office by 9:30. Are we clear? I certainly hope so."

Olivia saves the message and smiles to herself.

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**Way Two**

_Sigh it into her mouth, wedged in between teeth and tongues. Don't even let your lips move when you say it, ever so lightly, into the air. Maybe it was just an exhalation of ecstasy._

Alex stands – leans, really – against Olivia's apartment door, her hands gripping Olivia's hips tightly. Olivia presses her body against Alex's, the palms of her hands pressing against the door on either side of Alex's head. She crashes her lips onto Alex's, and Alex's hands instinctively grip Olivia's hips tighter, pulling the detective impossibly closer.

Olivia sighs something that sounds strangely like "I love you" against Alex's mouth, causing Alex to pull away from the kiss, a question in her eyes. Olivia just smiles, giving Alex the answer she needs.

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**Way Three**

_Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolate. Buy her a teddy bear, because that's what every romantic comedy has taught you. Take her out to a nice restaurant where neither of you feel comfortable and spend the whole night clearing your throat and tugging at your tie. Feel like your actions are more suited to a proposal than the simple confession of something you've always known._

Olivia shows up at Alex's apartment at exactly 6:00 on Valentine's Day evening, carrying a bouquet of red roses, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and an oversized teddy bear.

Alex opens the door with a wide smile on her face. "A little cliché, don't you think, Detective Benson?" Laughing, she steps aside to let Olivia into the apartment. She takes the bear from Olivia and sets it on her couch. "I think I'll leave it there forever," she says. "It adds some personality to the room."

Setting the roses in the glass vase Alex has on the counter and the chocolates on the counter next to it, Olivia chuckles. "If you want to." She glances at her watch. "We have to go."

"Where are we going?" Alex asks, grabbing her purse off the counter.

"You'll see when we get there."

The restaurant is spacious and crowded at the same time. It's classier than Alex was expecting. Olivia tries not to laugh at the slightly shocked expression on Alex's face, choosing, instead, to lean over and kiss her cheek.

They're seated quickly and the waiter comes by before they can even open their menus to offer them their finest wine. Olivia opts for champagne instead.

"What are we celebrating?" Alex asks once the waiter is out of earshot. Olivia blushes furiously and mumbles something incoherently. Alex chuckles lightly and decides not to question the detective.

The waiter comes back and the two place their orders. They attempt to make small talk while they wait. When their meals come, they fall into a comfortable silence. Occasionally, Olivia will clear her throat and start to say something, but will think better of it and go back to eating.

As the meal comes to an end, Olivia looks up from her plate and into Alex's eyes, her throat suddenly dry, and rests her hand on top of Alex's. "I love you," she says quickly then removes her hand and goes back to staring at her plate, a blush creeping up her neck.

"I love you too," Alex whispers just loud enough for Olivia to hear.

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**Way Four**

_Whisper it into her hair in the middle of the night, after you've counted the space between her breaths and are certain she's asleep. Shut your eyes quickly when she shifts toward you in askance. Maybe you were just sleep whispering._

Olivia lies in bed silently; her body curved around Alex's, her left arm placed carefully over Alex's side. She listens to her girlfriend's slow, easy breathing, counting the spaces between each breath. Once she is sure Alex is asleep, she places a feather-light kiss to the attorney's shoulder and whispers "I love you" into her hair. She slams her eyes shut quickly as Alex starts to move around.

Alex rolls onto her left side to face Olivia. She loves the way the moon catches the blonde highlights in the detective's hair and illuminates the freckles on her cheeks. "I love you too," Alex whispers, placing a kiss on the tip of Olivia's nose.

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**Way Five**

_Blurt it out in the middle of an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, as clumsy as your two left feet. When time seems to freeze, hastily tack on "in that shirt" or "when you make your award-winning meatballs" or, if you are feeling particularly brave, "when we do this." Resume dancing and pretend you don't feel her eyes on you for the rest of the night._

Olivia opens her apartment door and encounters the smell of sautéed vegetables and steak. Walking into her kitchen, she sees Alex dancing around, singing into the wooden spoon in her hand, the music playing loudly enough over her headphones to make her completely oblivious to Olivia's arrival.

Olivia kicks off her boots by the door, hangs up her jacket in the closet, and locks her gun away before rejoining Alex in the kitchen. She watches Alex dance for a few more minutes, knowing this is something she wants to come home to every day.

Alex spins around and Olivia catches her quickly, easily falling into step with the blonde.

"I love you," Olivia blurts out, not realizing Alex can hear her.

Alex stops dancing. "What?"

Olivia takes a step back and rubs her neck. "I love that you're here and making dinner."

"Mhm," Alex turns her attention back to making dinner, occasionally watching Olivia out of the corner of her eye.

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**Way Six**

_Write her a letter in which the amount of circumnavigating and angst could rival Mr. Darcy's. Debate where to leave it all day – on her pillow? In her coat pocket? Throw it away in frustration, conveniently leaving it face-up in the trashcan, her name scrawled on the front in your sloppy handwriting. Let her wonder if you mean it._

Olivia clutches the envelope tightly in her hand, unsure of where to leave it, unsure if she actually wants Alex to see it. She leaves it everywhere throughout the course of the day – among scattered case files on her desk, as a bookmark in a law dictionary on Alex's desk, in the outside pocket of Alex's briefcase, in her jacket pocket, in Alex's jacket pocket, even on Elliot's desk. Eventually, she decides to leave it on top of Alex's desk, in plain sight, so the ADA is sure to see it.

Before she leaves the office for the night, Alex sees the envelope on her desk, her name scrawled hastily – almost illegibly – on the front. Opening it, she reads the letter inside quickly – it's only four words long.

I love you.

-Olivia.

The short letter melts Alex's heart, but leaves her wondering if Olivia actually means it.

"I do," Olivia says from the doorway of Alex's office, scaring Alex enough to make her scream uncharacteristically. Olivia chuckles.

"You do what?" Alex asks, bending to pick up the letter, feeling Olivia's eyes on her the entire time.

"Mean what I wrote."

"You do?"

Olivia nods. "I do."

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**Way Seven**

_Wait until something terrible has happened and you can't not tell her anymore. Wait until she almost gets hit by a car crossing Wabash and after you are done cursing at the cab drivers in this city, when you realize you are actually just terrified of living without her. Tell her with your hands shaking._

The cab comes out of nowhere just as Alex steps into the crosswalk. There's the squealing of tires as the driver slams on the brakes, desperately trying to avoid colliding with her. Then there's the dull thud as the cab connects with Alex's slender body, not hard enough to send her flying, but hard enough to do damage. The final sound is the sharp crack as her head hits the pavement.

Olivia hardly remembers anything leading up to Alex waking up in the hospital. She knows Alex's leg is broken and she knows Alex has to stay there overnight, but she can't say how or why. What she does know is she is in love with Alex and can't live without her.

Alex looks away from the television when she hears the light knock on her hospital room door. "Come in," she says quietly.

Olivia walks over to Alex's bed, her whole body trembling. "I-"

"It's just a broken leg," Alex says, giving Olivia a reassuring smile.

"You could've died," Olivia says, wiping furiously at her eyes. "You could've died and I wouldn't have gotten to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"That I love you!"

"You love me?"

Olivia nods. "I love you."

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**Way Eight**

_Say it deliberately, your tongue a springboard for every syllable. Over coffee, brushing your teeth side-by-side, as you turn off the light to go to sleep – it doesn't matter where. Do not adorn it with extra words like "I think" or "I might." Do not sigh heavily as if admitting it were a burden instead of the most joyous thing you've ever done. Look her in the eyes and pray, heart thumping wildly, that she will turn to you and say, "I love you too."_

Waking up to the smell of fresh coffee may very well be one of the best things Olivia has ever experienced. She throws the blankets off and pads silently through her apartment to the kitchen, where Alex is currently brewing the best-smelling coffee Olivia has ever smelled.

"Good morning," Alex says, greeting Olivia with a kiss and a hot cup of coffee.

"Good morning," Olivia says, accepting the kiss and the coffee with a grateful smile.

"Sleep well?"

Olivia nods. "Did you?" Alex nods. Olivia takes a sip of her coffee and sighs. "Perfect." She looks into Alex's eyes and bites her bottom lip. "I love you," she says deliberately, hoping – no, praying – Alex feels the same way.

Alex's lips curve into a wide smile. "I love you too," she says.

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Like it? Hate it? Let me know.


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